mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
