i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
