he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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