id be glad to
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize