it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
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