quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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