Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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