Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
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