I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
