Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I got inside last night via doggy door
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
