Your face is a jimmy john
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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