Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
my being single is dangerous.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
