I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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