What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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