i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
