Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
