I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I'm going to jail i love you
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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