Having a random hookup so left but love u
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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