Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
