It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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