i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
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