Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
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