i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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