I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
