if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Also, beer. Big fan.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
