We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
