So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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