I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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