She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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