So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
