Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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