I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize