Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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