I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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