We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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