Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
