How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
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