Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize