Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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