my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
then he tried to convert me to islam
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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