Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
