I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
