he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize