So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize