I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
