no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize