hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
