You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize