I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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