some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
My ass is underappreciated
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
