Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
