Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Randomize
