if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
