Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
