I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
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