About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
